101st and last post

Wow - I just realized that my Happy Birthday to Moonbeam post was my 100th post! Crazy!
Anyhow, I've decided this will be my last post here on Hoping for Hannah - so sad that it has come to this....but sweet Moonbeam is with her new family and I am not certain if I will be getting any updates - I'm still hoping, but as of now it doesn't seem likely. I will continue to pray for her and she will always be in my heart!
This journey has taken so many unexpected twists and turns. I am so thankful that none of this has taken God by surprise and that even though I don't really understand why things have turned out the ways they have - His plan is still unfolding....He is still in control!
I am starting a new adoption journey - I will be blogging about it here. I hope and pray it will end differently, but I know that no matter the outcome I will still be His.
One thing I have definitely learned during this journey to adopt is that this is not just my journey - I am amazed at the ways God has impacted others through my journey - huh? You mean it's not all about me? :)
I re-discovered this post on another of my blogs and it really fits with where I'm at now....this journey is not just my own...hope you'll join me.

Thanks and an Update

First, let me say a million thanks to all of you who have left comments, sent me emails and called to encourage! I am so thankful for all of you! I feel supported, understood and loved! Thank you!
Next, let me say this has been one of the hardest weeks! I spent most of it alternating between celebrating and grieving - I am completely exhausted.
I spoke with my agency this evening and she had an update from our in country coordinator that was again both heartbreaking and heartwarming. She says that Hannah has in fact, gone to live with relatives. When they came to take her home, I am told she was very confused, upset and kept asking for me - she wanted to see my pictures and kept asking where I was? Sweet girl - as much as is possible for a three year old she truly was waiting for me and that really warms my heart! I hope I will be able to stay in touch with her. My coordinator says that she will contact them in the Fall after they have had time to settle in and ask if it would be OK for me to write her. I truly hope so!
Again, thank you so much to each of you who have shown your love, support and understanding of this painful journey.

Things That Don't Suck

Inspired by Shannon's recent post, I thought I'd post my own list of things that don't suck!
In no particular order....

1. The amazing support or friends and family! I know I am sick of this whole situation and yet friends are still willing to check in with me and hear about the wait and continue to pray! I am so grateful for that!

2. While I'm waiting I have had the opportunity to foster two sweet little girls - they are 5 and 3 1/2. They have been with me about 2 1/2 weeks and will be with me about one month total. It really has been a wonderful experience.

3. Puppies sleeping on your lap - snuggly and warm.

4. Knowing you are loved unconditionally by Jesus!

5. Strawberry shortcake with homemade whip cream thanks to my dear sister!

6. Listening to Syd, F. and H. laugh and giggle as they find each other playing hide and seek!

7. Getting pictures of the juice, snacks, stuffed animals and clothes delivered to the BBH for the kiddos!

8. Days warm enough to play outside

9. Wii fit - it's fun and I sweat too! :) (although probably not enough, but were talking about things that "don't suck" so...)

10. Folllowing along on "virtual" friends' blogs who are reuniting with their kiddos and having "gotcha" days! (Sadly none of them from Kyrgyzstan yet!)

Merry Christmas Blogging Friends

I just want to wish all of my blogging friends a very Merry Christmas! Your comments and support through this long journey mean so very much to me! Your support holds me up when I feel like I am sinking in the sadness of this wait.

May the Prince of Peace fill you with the peace that only He can bring during this Season of Advent.

Isaiah 9:6

For a child is born to us. A Son is given to us. And the government will rest on His shoulders. These will be His royal titles:

Wonderful Counselor

Mighty God

Everlasting Father

The Prince of Peace.

A Week "Off the Grid"

Much to Lucy's

and Cleo's

dismay, the humans of our family, spent last week here...
enjoying views like this...
and this....
not to be outdone by this...

in fact much of the week, my view looked like this...

and while we shan't speak of how this evening ended, we enjoyed such things as a dinner cruise

and a delicious meal here...

A grand time was had by all! I feel so relaxed and refreshed. It's good to be "off the grid" for a time. I didn't check email, voicemail, my blog or any of the yahoo groups I belong to - it was actually quite a relief! I sure wish my sweet Moonbeam could have joined us! I thought about her every day and I continue to pray without ceasing for her and all of the waiting children. Lord, bring them home!

Brothers...

Before the winter storm really got going this am I had coffee with my friends Ted and Richard. I don't have any brothers, but if I did I would hope they would be just like these two! These guys love the Lord, they are amazing Dads, they adore their wives and they are two of my favorite people!

Tonight I sent out a prayer request via email to many friends and family members. I mentioned in the email how hard this wait has been on me and how I've been on the verge of tears most of the time. (Ted and Richard would know - I cried at coffee this am - and you know what they were OK with that - another reason I love these guys!) Ted and Richard were the first two to respond to the request. I wanted to share their responses to my email - I hope it will encourage you the way it did me.

Good Grief what a mess. I am glad you got new pictures! My prayer is for everyone to bring home their kids! Keep smiling, I saw more happy smiles today then I did tears! You know that God is good and will take care of all the details “Greater is he that is in YOU and Hannah, then he who is in the world”.
Love you my friend, Ted

oh, yes...re: the "wait"

Charles Stanley was teaching today about the "wait". He believes the greatest thing we learn as believers is to "wait" and the greatest gift we receive comes through waiting. May your wait not be a weight...once again, cast your care on him, for he cares for you...if you can do it now, you'll be able to do it as a mom and the wait won't be a weight.

Be His,

Richard

Yes, and amen - Be His!

Psalm 23

As I walk through this adoption journey I find I must be vigilant about my thought life - as Joyce Meyer says "Think about what you are thinking about!" And so I find myself seeking peace in the midst of my ever-changing, often out of control circumstances!

In my quest for the peace that only the Lord can deliver, I came across this paraphrase of Psalm 23 in Linda Dillow's book Calm My Anxious Heart (a must read in my opinion).

The Lord is my peace. I shall not live in anxiety. He puts me under His wing of comfort and calms my spirit within me. He takes all my anxieties on Himself and helps me to focus on Him. Yes, though I walk through a time of grave uncertainties and fierce anxieties. I will not fret for You are my peace. Your Word and Your presence calm me now. You hold my uncertainties in the palm of Your hand. You soothe my anxious mind – You smooth my wrinkled brow. Surely serenity and trust in You shall fill me all the days of my life. And I shall keep my mind stayed on You forever.