Monday, January 12, 2009

Expectation or Dread?

As this week begins I find myself wondering if this will be a week full of good news or another week of disappointment?
I am reminded of a devotion that I led at church a few weeks ago and some things that the Lord spoke to my heart. The devotion comes from one of my favorite books written by Joyce Rupp - it's called May I Have This Dance? One of the suggestions for prayer in the January devotion is to draw a road that symbolizes the year just completed and another for the year ahead. Then spend some time writing down key experiences, events, thoughts and feelings.
As I reflected on the road for 2008 I realized that it was a year full of wonderful highs and heartbreaking lows! One of the highlights was the week I spent in Bishkek with my little Moonbeam! Of course, the lowlights were related to the delays in bringing her home.
As I was looking forward to 2009 I realized that my heart is full of dread! I heard God's still small voice speaking to my heart that He wanted to change my dread into expectation. On my road for 2009 I sensed Him speaking these words to my heart.
2009 is a year for expecting God's love, goodness, gentleness, acceptance, and tenderness towards me and towards my sweet Hannah.
No matter what the circumstances - this is who God is and I can receive all that He has planned for me - trusting His timing and planning - even if it doesn't match up with mine.
So here's to a year of expectation and NOT dread!

2 comments:

Pamela said...

This post hit close to home, Kimberly, in many ways. First, it is all in God's hands...these little ones that He has blessed us with and placed in our hearts, they are all His children and an amazing gift to us. Second, keep the faith...all will come to pass in His time when He is ready. Meantime, how wonderful is it that our hearts continue to grow in love for our children? Awesome. And finally, I love Joyce Rupp...you must be Catholic (me, too). Her writings are deep and meaningful and have helped me reflect on the blessings in my life.

Sending blessings your way!

Ann said...

Hi Kimberly, I loved this post. I try most days to remember this truth. It has been my motto since June. Patience is trusting in God's timing. I know we will get our kids home. God's time is perfect, even though we sometimes just don't understand it fully. Some days it is harder then others to understand. Thanks for the wonderful words!