Saturday, April 18, 2009

Waiting 10 months today...

Earlier today I was reading my friend Alan's blog. The title of his post today is "Trusting in the Dark: A Few Insights" - read the whole post here. It was a really challenging to me and in fact partly inspired my post below.
Here are some things I took away from it: Abraham waited 25 years for God to fulfill His promise that he would be the father of many nations. Not only did he wait that 25 years, but he was old when the promise was made (well over 100 by the time it was fulfilled!), as was Sarah, there was no earthly reason for them to believe that they could have a son together - no reason other than their faith in a God who keeps His promises!
After spending some time reflecting on Alan's comments and then meditating on the passage he mentions in Romans 4, I felt led to write the post below. As I posted it, I noticed on my Lilypie ticker that I have been waiting 10 months today to bring Hannah home. Ten months and I am a mess - I feel grouchy OK, in all honesty really angry at God for making me wait -for making Hannah wait - contrast this with the 25 years Abraham waited.....ouch! What in the world is my problem? Not that I don't believe God's heart aches to get Hannah out of the orphanage - I know it does, not that I think I have to put on a happy face and pretend it doesn't hurt like hell - I know He doesn't expect that, but I also believe that He is asking me to wait and He is wanting to build my faith and like I said below - I think He knows I can handle the wait and will NOT give up. (Insert deep breath and long exhale here...)
Father, I know You are good and I can trust You. I know Your ways are not my ways, and Your plan is better than anything I could ever dream up. Build my faith, increase my trust, help me to focus on You. Protect all of the Kyrgyz children who are without families. Please be their Abba - their daddy. Fill their hearts with Your love. Move on the hearts of the Kyrgyz government - give them a burden for their children and motivate them to move quickly for the good of their children! Amen.


Ann said...

Beautifully written. I know 10 months does not compare to 25 years but it still really hurts!

Kimberly said...

Thanks Ann. And you are so right - it hurts terribly - and I in no way mean to minimize that pain!

Laura and Tom said...

Adoption time is like dog years only worse - your 10 month wait I'm sure is starting to feel like 10 years. You have every right to get angry. This situation is awful and both you nor Moon Beam deserve so much better. So if you need to have a down day or throw a good old fashion temper tantrum now and then, you go right ahead! Despite all of this mess, you remain one of the most positive and patient people I know, you embody the very essence of grace. Lots of cyber hugs heading your way!

Shelley and Brian said...

Beautiful post! Thanks for sharing your words and thoughts it was very grounding for me.
We can do this!!!